There'll Be No Mistletoe Here
by PurpleCadet
Summary: A response to an angsty office party prompt on the Darvey Fics tumblr. Set pre-kiss. One-shot.


**I should really finish off chapter 4 of 'Knowing' but here we are.**

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Office Christmas parties at Pearson Hardman were known for being lavish, grand affairs. But with the renaming, downsizing and restructure of the firm still so fresh, this year's office party was humble in its location; a warmly-lit library with an elegantly decorated Christmas tree.

As satisfying as it may have been to flash money around on an expensive party, Donna had deterred both Harvey and Louis from engaging in the extravagant display of years past. Instead they had shown their renewed success to their most loyal clients with personalised (and yes, expensive) gifts but kept the party an intimate, in house affair. The free-flowing champagne also did wonders for everybody's temperament.

Whilst Christmas with her relatives was often a tense, stressful affair, holidays with her Pearson Specter family was something Donna had always treasured. This year felt different though. For one, their matriarch was notably absent. Any minute Donna kept expecting Jessica to swoop into the room, commanding the attention of every single person present. Louis had kept mostly to himself since the party started, sipping eggnog in a far off corner, throwing her the occasional limp smile when she caught his eye.

Then there was Harvey.

During their first few years at the firm, it wasn't entirely uncommon for Donna to bring a date to the staff Christmas party. Although she didn't have a shortage of offers, the holidays had always brought out a certain lightness in her, an ease that mean seemed to respond to. Back then she had always found herself dating in some form or another during that time of year.

Harvey was the opposite. Christmas did nothing except remind him that his happiest holidays were behind him. It only worsened after Gordon died. Although they worked together right up until Christmas and almost immediately after, Donna had never spent Christmas with Harvey. The annual office party was the one chance they had to share the holiday together. After a few years it felt wrong to include somebody else in that.

Unfortunately Harvey didn't feel the need to show her the same courtesy this year. She might have liked a few hours to mentally prepare herself for the image of Paula on Harvey's arm as her paraded her around the office (their home). Paula was clearly charmed by him, glancing up at him in a way that could only be described as _adoringly_ while his hand rested delicately on the small of her back. He looked more relaxed than she'd seen him in months. No, he looked _happy_ , she realised.

Donna drained the contents of her glass and tore eyes away from the couple, reminding herself that jealousy was not an attractive look on her, even if she did look fabulous in the green dress she was wearing.

Suddenly her empty glass was snatched out of her hand and replaced with a fresh one. She offered the culprit a grateful smile. "Thanks Rach."

"No one would blame you, you know."

"If I got hammered at the Christmas party? It wouldn't be the first time."

Rachel gave her a knowing look. "If you left early."

"Why would I leave early?"

"Donna, you don't have to pretend with me. I know this must be hard for you."

Donna shook her head, smiling tightly. "Leaving will only make it worse." She took a large swig of her champagne, wincing at the taste. She'd always hated the stuff.

"Getting drunk might do the same," Rachel said gently.

"Didn't you just put a drink in my hand?"

"Sweetie, I just hate to see you hurting."

Donna softened at her friend's concern. She moved her mouth to speak but promptly shut it closed when Mike sidled up to Rachel.

"Great party, Donna," he praised her, kissing her chastely on the cheek. "You look beautiful."

Donna gave him a playful shove. "Stop sucking up."

"I'm serious. I'm the luckiest guy here to be standing next to the both of you." At the roll of both Donna and Rachel's eyes, Mike smirked. "See, that was sucking up."

Donna noticed the precise moment that Mike noticed Harvey and Paula because his face warped into a look of confusion.

"Harvey brought Paula Agard?"

"She is his girlfriend, Mike," Donna said primly.

"Have you met her?"

Donna thought back to the awkward moment in Harvey's office just a few weeks prior and then to the woman's own office a year before that.

"A couple of times."

"How did that go?"

 _"Mike."_

"Fine, Mike," Donna answered. "She's good for Harvey."

"In what way?"

"She understands him."

"Yeah but not like-"

 _"Mike,"_ Rachel admonished her fiancé for the second time.

Donna finished her champagne in one elegant gulp. "I'll be right back."

She left for the bar, leaving Mike and Rachel to their own devices. God, she was being so transparent tonight. Having to plaster a smile on her face had never felt so exhausting. Only when she had another drink in her hand did she feel the tension drain from her shoulders.

"I thought you hated champagne."

She whirled around to face Harvey. "Not as much as I hate being sober at parties."

Harvey smirked, tipping his own glass toward her. "Touché."

Without thinking, Donna reached out and adjusted Harvey's shiny red tie. She pulled her hand back just as quickly, brushing off the oddly placed gesture with a faint chuckle. "I see you've finally decided to get into the holiday spirit."

Harvey gestured to her dress. "I see you have too."

"I was never the Grinch of the two of us, Harvey."

She watched as Harvey casually glanced around the busy library. "No date tonight?"

The comment riled her, so naturally she went on the defense. "I wouldn't waste a date on this party."

Harvey furrowed his brow. "You have before."

Donna sipped at her champagne. "I'm surprised you remember that far back."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you, Harvey?"

She waited, wondering if he would actually have the guts to say it. _Because I'm here with Paula_. She knew he wouldn't though, because it would only result in a conversation that Harvey still wasn't ready to have with her.

Paula chose that exact moment to re-attach herself to Harvey's side. "There you are."

Harvey jerked his head toward her. "Paula, I don't think you two have been properly introduced."

Donna smiled widely, careful to maintain her poise even though the champagne was beginning to make her feel lightheaded. Paula returned the smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Paula, good to see you again."

"Again?" Harvey asked.

"We've met before."

"In your office, no less," Paula clarified. Donna eyed her curiously, but Harvey missed the look entirely. "It's good to see you again too, Donna." She glanced at Harvey then back at Donna. "If you'll excuse us, I was hoping I might steal Harvey for a dance."

Harvey forced a laugh. "I don't dance."

"Not well, anyway."

Harvey pretended to glare at her, but his smirk gave him away. It gave Donna just the tiniest bit of satisfaction when she noticed that Paula looked somewhat annoyed at the exchange. In the end she was still the bigger person.

"I'm sure you can convince him, Paula. I'll leave you to it."

Paula immediately took the cue, waving a quick goodbye to Donna and leading Harvey away to the makeshift dance floor. Harvey looked back at her, befuddled by her exchange with Paula. Donna didn't take the bait. Instead she discreetly made her exit, eager to go to her office and decompress for a few minutes.

She kicked off her heels the minute she stepped into her office and sunk into her chair. She longed for something stronger than champagne to wash away the bile in her throat. For all her talk about wanting to be happy for Harvey, she couldn't stand to see it in person.

She wasn't alone for more than five minutes before she heard a light knock on her door.

"It's not like you to run from a party," Harvey said as he entered her office.

"I came in for the harder stuff," she said with a vague wave of her hand.

Harvey glanced at the untouched bottle of whiskey by her desk. Donna shrugged. "I haven't gotten that far yet."

He rolled his eyes and plucked the bottle from her drink cart along with two glasses. He poured her glass first, sliding it across her desk while he took the seat opposite hers, then poured himself a generous helping.

"Merry Christmas, Donna," he said in that soft voice her only used with her. Donna tried to ignore how it made her feel and clinked her glass with his.

"Merry Christmas, Harvey."

After he took a swig, Harvey blanched, "What is this?"

"It's not Macallan."

"You like Macallan."

"No, _you_ like Macallan. I just… _endured_ it."

She noticed the brief look of hurt cross his features before he could mask it. "It tastes fruity."

"Your office is literally next door, Harvey," she said pointedly, with a touch of frustration.

"No it's fine. I'm sure I can – what's the word you used? – oh yeah, _endure_ it."

Donna polished off her glass. "Shouldn't you be downstairs?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"With Paula."

Harvey clenched his jaw, then finished off his own glass. "You're doing a shitty job of pretending you're not pissed off with me."

Donna leaned back in her chair, surveying him. "Speaking of pretending, let's not pretend that you came up here to bring me back to the party when you really want to know why I didn't tell you I'd already met your girlfriend before tonight."

"Fine. I do want to know why you didn't share that information."

Donna poured herself another glass and topped up Harvey's – a polite, automatic gesture that she didn't notice until she'd already done it.

"It didn't seem pertinent. She was in your office one day, I walked past and put two and two together."

"That was the only time?" he asked, evidently seeing right through her bullshit.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because there was…I don't know, tension or something."

Because Harvey doesn't know what he's missing…

"That was the only time."

She had no desire to ever tell Harvey about the conversation she'd had with his new girlfriend, not when she'd put her trust in a woman who was only ever supposed to be Harvey's therapist.

"Donna, don't lie to me."

Her eyes widened at the forcefulness of his words. "I'm not, Harvey."

"Then what was that back there?"

"I just…didn't expect to see her, that's all."

It wasn't a complete fabrication and it was enough to put a stop to Harvey's line of inquiry. He stared into the bottom of his glass, then looked up at her with apologetic eyes.

"You're upset that I brought her."

"Harvey, she's your girlfriend, it would be strange if she wasn't here."

"I know but…we usually don't bring dates to these things."

Donna was more than a little taken aback.

"You haven't for years," he continued.

"Maybe I just haven't had any offers."

He scoffed. "You? Yeah right."

Donna smiled a little. "It didn't feel right anymore."

Harvey sighed, guilt evident on his face. "You stopped because of me."

"Well you didn't exactly roll out the welcome wagon when I brought a date along."

"Well, they weren't good enough for you."

Donna quirked an eyebrow at him and Harvey damn near flushed, covering it with a sip of his drink. He never would have said that to her sober.

"Harvey, how many times are we going to have this conversation?"

"What conversation?"

"The one where we tell each other that we're both bothered when we date other people but we pretend that it's normal for friends to feel that way."

Harvey shifted in his seat. "We're different, though."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Donna pushed herself up from her desk and walked past Harvey. She slipped her heels back on, not daring to look back at him.

"Donna…"

She held out the door for him. "Your girlfriend will be looking for you, Harvey."

Harvey made no effort to move. She rolled her eyes, storming out of her office anyway, leaving him there. He caught up with her just as she stepped into the elevator. _Figures this moment would be their only example of good timing._

"I didn't mean to rub your face in it," he said as the doors closed. "I know it's a shitty feeling."

Donna sighed, savoring the moment. That would probably be as close as Harvey would ever get to admitting he got jealous when it came to her.

"I want you to be happy, Harvey," she said for the umpteenth time, doing her best to convince herself that it was okay if it wasn't with her.

"I am."

"Then we're good," she assured him. He still seemed uneasy so she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He turned his head to her before she had completely pulled away, leaving only a fraction of space between their lips. It had been years since they had been so close to one another.

The elevator chimed and Donna reared back. Harvey stepped out of the elevator the minute it opened, unable to meet her eyes. Donna stayed put, pressing the button for the ground floor. Only at the last second did Harvey turned around, realising she hadn't followed him.

Their eyes met just as the door closed; a scene she was intimately familiar with. She slumped back against the wall of the elevator. When she titled her head and noticed the mistletoe hanging above her head she let out a mirthless laugh. It was the one Christmas tradition that she loathed and she had rebuffed all requests to hang it anywhere near the library. She wouldn't to read into the omen. Those plants were known for being poisonous.


End file.
